Normally, my inherently slack nature allows me to ignore a lot of my problems. I can usually let just about anything roll right off. Lately, however, I've been unable to find the silver linings.
I have totaled cars before and been able to find the bright side of it. When my Corolla got wrecked (the nicest and newest vehicle I have ever owned) I was able to say, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about those paint chips that were starting to rust on the hood!"
Now, I just spent $1,000 dollars to make my dog better. That's $1K I don't have. Don't get me wrong. I love the dog, and I want him to be well, to play with and protect the kids, but that's a drain on the finances that's really giving me grief. Even though I'm glad to spend it, it's hard to NOT have my ulcer act up as a result.
It's a beautiful day out. A perfect one to mow the lawn. I'm more than likely not going to mow. I really don't care what my lawn looks like. I don't feel the need to impress anyone with it. If I could, I would have a yard completely covered in crushed stone, or ivy, or trees.
It is a beautiful day, and I want to spend it inside watching baseball. If I won the lottery, I would probably get a 50" TV outside, eradicate all of the bugs, and watch baseball in my gravel paved backyard from a hammock. That prospect gets more unlikely all the time.
It is a beautiful day, and my parents have the kids, and will return them this afternoon. I expect the only thing of use I will get done today is taking the trash to the dump, and grocery shopping. That's really not accomplishing much, or enjoyable.
It is a beautiful day, at 70 degrees out, the sun is shining, the pollen count seems to have dipped, and the bugs aren't as bad as usual. I feel incapable of enjoying it, with the weight of adult responsibility on my shoulders.
It is a beautiful day. I want to enjoy it, but I also want to waste it. Where did the silver linings go? Can I just not see them any more? Have they ceased to exist?
(Note: I really am not this emo, at least not openly. Maybe writing for the theorhetical world to see will help. This was punched out on my phone, on my back porch, on a beautiful day.)